Catch 22…not the book

 

So I went to my first funeral over the weekend and I must say I don’t like them. Shocker I know, I don’t think anybody likes funerals; however, I think the reason for my dislike comes not from the process or the many different steps that go on during the funeral but that to me a funeral should be more about remembering a person and the times of laughter. Instead it was very solemn. I know some of you reading might be saying “ Really Brian, where are you going with this?”

Well this is where I am going, I have been on this planet for 37 years and I have seen both my parents die, all of my grandparents, one uncle, and one aunt; not one time did I ever go to a funeral whether it was due to my age or whatever reason I have never been exposed to the funeral process. So I was asked by the widow of my friend to be a pall bearer and I was very honored to be one, but what I wanted to do more than anything in the world was to hug her and let her know it will get better, and tell her that in time the pain does stop and is replaced with tears of joy rather than sorrow, but instead I performed my duties as a pall bearer and carried the casket.

So why didn’t I hug her and tell her these things, I think mainly because I think we all know these things I mentioned to be evident even during times of great sorrow, I also know she has the support of such a great family that will never let her reach bottom and that is because of how much love they have for her. And for those reasons this is why I felt that she did not need to hear these words from me but from those that will feel this grief along with her in a more personal manner that, even though I considered the man to be almost like a brother to me, I can not make their healing process less difficult, only their inner family circle will find the best way to deal with this tragic circumstance.

Now my wife and I had a long drive back last night and we talked about a lot of things but one question that was asked of me was, “Are you ok?”, yes I am. Even though I may have lost a great friend I also had a very kind, twisted, funny, loving, and truly inspirational friend in my life that I will never forget and I guarantee that nobody will ever say “stuffy” to me the same way ever again, because after all he is the man that started that nickname and it is one I wear with immense pride because it came from such an awesome person.

So Mike I bid you a fond farewell and I hope I will see you again.